TOP 10 "DON'TS" I DIDN'T SEE COMING

Don’t use a hair dryer while in the bathtub. Don’t forget your seatbelt. Don’t wipe back to front. Don't try to speak with your mouth full. Don’t wear your make-up to bed. We’ve all heeded some of life’s little cautions.

Here are 10 warnings that I’ve bestowed upon my little cherubs that I truly didn’t see coming:

1. Don’t jump in a puddle of pee. To be fair, it was his own. But, no.

2. Don’t stack the lawn chairs up to make a “totally awesome basketball dunking ladder tower that would never cause a sprained ankle”.

3. Don’t write on your arms with permanent marker. If you do, please spell the words correctly.

4. Don’t assume that everyone wants to see your bare bum.

5. Don’t eat s’mores in bed. (Note to self: Don’t allow small child to disappear into the house with an uneaten s’more).

6. Don’t dangle your brother upside down into a dark, narrow crevice to retrieve something. Even if he’s willing. His lips may say yes, but his therapist may beg to differ.

7. Don’t have a “silent-but-deadly” gas battle when the grandparents are over for dinner.

8. Don’t roll your boogies between your fingers and compete with your sister for the longest flick.

9. Don’t set up an indoor stair luge when the dog is at the bottom of the steps. Note: Indoor stair luges are not entirely banned.

10. Don’t wake up extra early and lay in wait to scare your mother. It will not end well.