STEER INTO THE SKID

When I was learning to drive, one of the hardest lessons for me to learn was to steer into a skid. It went against my every instinct to steer toward what felt like my certain death. Lo and behold, turning toward the chaos actually helped to put me back on the right path. Do you feel a life lesson coming on? You know me so well.

Listen, I’m all for a good idiom, and I’ve been on the end of well-meaning advice when my life/marriage/home was spiraling out of control countless times, but I never listened:

Them: You have to face the music.

Me: What music? I don’t hear anything. Do you have any gum?

Them: You’ve made your bed…

Me: Pish… I don’t make any beds unless my mother is coming for a visit.

Them: You can’t unring that bell.

Me: Start singing, “You can ring my bell-el-el. Ring my bell” in my head.

My instinct was to look the other way. Every time. Call it denial, call it being blissfully unaware -- it was the only coping skill that I thought I had. It took a spiritual/emotional bomb to go off in my heart to wake me up. When I opened my eyes, I was skidding off the road at neck-breaking (ok – heart-breaking) speed.

It hurt like hell, but I had to force myself to drive toward the ugly. I was allowing someone to abuse me and my family. I cowered. I placated. I apologized for breathing. I allowed my children to be in a really bad situation. I had to own my mistakes. I had to take responsibility for my and my children’s safety and well-being. We’re still not at full speed, but we’re all wearing our seat belts and finding peace in our new path.

Own your sh*t. Drive doughnuts through it. Steer into the skid before you smash into a tree.